Thanks...

To the person who decided to bring to my parents attention my article about my feelings, mental health ailments and sexuality, reading and knowing full well, I was struggling with the concept of coming out to them. Thank You.

Thank you so much for robbing me of the opportunity to tell my parents when I was ready. Taking one article and completely throwing out of context the initial point of this blog. The journey I have been through, the struggle it's taken, the life-threatening bouts of insomnia throughout 2018 and the bravery it took to acknowledge the advice I sought, the 12 weeks off work, the swings of being on medication, the tissues used from wiping my tears during therapy, the hours I spent alone, trapped inside my flat, and the hours of conversation with friends I had. I have been, the most open, honest, vulnerable brave than any other time in my life. Thanks very much, for not even thinking, or considering contacting me first before deciding it was YOUR job, to make my parents aware of things I was struggling with. I don't know who's interests you had at heart, but I can tell you, mine were not the priority. Considering this blog is about MY tribulations and MY mental health. I'm angry, because my dad is protecting your identity! That's all fair and well, but none of this has happened on my terms. That CHOICE, was taken away from me. It's one thing if my parents stumbled across this blog on their own. That was MY risk, I chose that weighing up the consequences. But considering I have been explicit about them not knowing about my sexuality, in not just one post, but several posts. YOU decided, the person that needed to know, was my Dad. You could have contacted me, we could have had a conversation. Whether it was with best intentions or not, my wellbeing you placed SECOND to the person it regarded. Your actions throated the efficacy of my blog. I was almost censored, my emotions, thoughts and actions were almost deleted; the right I have to talk about them was almost eradicated. Something I am vehemently against. Thanks, for almost denying me my outlet to vent, my chance to connect with others that maybe feeling similarly, losing my objective viewpoint, my chance to empathise with others. My independence is very important to me. Someone could have, paid off my mortgage, bought me a new car, paid for an holiday, and I would have an easier time accepting that. What you did, was to take away the opportunity the universe placed in front of me, for me to handle. I will never know if I possessed the strength to come out to my parents, because that was done for me, by someone else. Someone, who had their own agenda. Again, thanks for considering me first, when you carried out your actions. This was my topic and experience to own, and that will never be mine again.

The good that came from this however, is that a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. My parents were, amazing, supportive understanding and loving despite the circumstances, despite how they found out. It's going to take a minute and have to afford them their space to process, but it could be a million times worse. I am lucky to be born to such parents. I love them dearly. No longer do I have to lie about Saul and say he's a friend. The people that need to know about my sexuality and my mental health challenges, know. My relationship is no longer a secret. I am no longer a secret. I can worry about the million other things have been stressing me.

We are only challenged with what we can handle, right?